Beren and Luthien/Miss Piggy and Kermit Mash-Up


I’ve got some other real goodies, but until Disney (which owns Star Trek and the Muppet Show) and the estates of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis are more amenable, you will have to wait on them.

Fan fiction is safe from legal action, however, if it is a parody. Here’s mine:

   The pond was deep, his skin was green, 

            And on the stage a light was seen

            Of many lightbulbs glimmering.

            The lily pads white and fair. 

Miss Piggy was dancing there.

            Like Mary Antoinette was her hair,

            To a pit orchestra near the scene 

            And in her raiment shimmering.

There Kermit came from backstage bold 

            And wandered there lost in thought 

            About how he again must Fozzie scold 

            He hopped alone and sorrowing.

He peered between the curtain, caught. 

            And saw in wonder flowers of gold. 

            Upon her mantle and her sleeves

            And her snout like nose following.

Enchantment healed his weary flippers.

            That through muddy waters doomed to swim. 

            And forth he hastened, strong and chipper.

            And gasped at strobelights glistening.

Through the entire theatre it seemed to him. 

            She heavily fled on dancing feet from guillotine. 

            And left him lonely still to swim

            In the silent pond listening.

            That in his flippers lay glistening.

As Kermit looked into her eyes 

            Within the shadows of her hair

            The trembling starlight of the skies.

            He saw there mirrored shimmering

            Miss Piggy the porcine-fair.

            Diva, violent, street-wise

            About him cast her shadowy hair 

            And arms like pewter deadening.

    Long was the way that fate them bore

            O’er five seasons with many guests 

            Through changes of face, and Annie Sue 

            Not to mention Johnny Cash

Anatomical differences between them lay             

And yet at last they married — or did they?